The following information is based on the book Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy by Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. Lauer. 8th edition. Alliant International University, San Diego.
Transitioning in marriage can offer challenging times for both new and old couples. The purpose of this blog is to address some of the transitions that are affecting marriages today. By doing this, I hope couples may use transitions to strengthen rather than hinder their marriages.
Newly-Wed Transitioning: Some people start off with more challenges to transition in a marriage than other. For example, teen marriages can bring in complications regarding maturity and low income. Another might be where a spouse is in school and the other is either in school as well or working—bringing challenges regarding the use of time, scheduling, and commonly stress. More would be premarital pregnancy, struggling family relationships (commonly the in-laws), and substance abuse.
“Couples in long-term, satisfying marriages do not agree on everything, but in our research 84.4% felt that they always or almost always agreed on aims, goals, and things they believed was important" (Marriage and Family, Chapter 8).
Later Transitioning: Dealing with the in-laws can continue to be a struggle later within the marriage. You marry the son or daughter; you marry the family as well. Often times, couples also may find themselves in a position that would require moving back in with the in-laws. This can often mean that there is already a struggle with the couples finances, the spouse is still too attached to their family and hasn’t learned to rely on their partner. When the move-in happens, the son or daughter-in-law may feel as though they have not become ‘part of the family.’
A second transition may consist of a change in feelings, behaviors, and activities. This transition is far more common than one might think because it includes regular life experiences--people having children, losing a job, or a wife starting to work. All of these put pressure on the home.
Strengthened by Transitions: Dealing with transitions is both emotionally and physically tiring. However; when worked through, they have the capability of strengthening marriages. Before I continue, I would like to point out that the above transitions are not the only ones. Marriages often face a sort of transition every day. For a minute, think about what transitions your marriage is facing today.
Questions to ponder regarding how you are dealing with the current transitions in your marriage:
1. Are you committed? This means keeping promises, being dedicated, loyal, and nurturing the relationship before anything else.
2. Have you built a sense of security, confidence, and dependability? Show your spouse that they are not alone, that you believe in them, and that they can rely on you.
Transitioning in marriage can offer challenging times for both new and old couples. The purpose of this blog is to address some of the transitions that are affecting marriages today. By doing this, I hope couples may use transitions to strengthen rather than hinder their marriages.
Newly-Wed Transitioning: Some people start off with more challenges to transition in a marriage than other. For example, teen marriages can bring in complications regarding maturity and low income. Another might be where a spouse is in school and the other is either in school as well or working—bringing challenges regarding the use of time, scheduling, and commonly stress. More would be premarital pregnancy, struggling family relationships (commonly the in-laws), and substance abuse.
“Couples in long-term, satisfying marriages do not agree on everything, but in our research 84.4% felt that they always or almost always agreed on aims, goals, and things they believed was important" (Marriage and Family, Chapter 8).
Later Transitioning: Dealing with the in-laws can continue to be a struggle later within the marriage. You marry the son or daughter; you marry the family as well. Often times, couples also may find themselves in a position that would require moving back in with the in-laws. This can often mean that there is already a struggle with the couples finances, the spouse is still too attached to their family and hasn’t learned to rely on their partner. When the move-in happens, the son or daughter-in-law may feel as though they have not become ‘part of the family.’
A second transition may consist of a change in feelings, behaviors, and activities. This transition is far more common than one might think because it includes regular life experiences--people having children, losing a job, or a wife starting to work. All of these put pressure on the home.
Strengthened by Transitions: Dealing with transitions is both emotionally and physically tiring. However; when worked through, they have the capability of strengthening marriages. Before I continue, I would like to point out that the above transitions are not the only ones. Marriages often face a sort of transition every day. For a minute, think about what transitions your marriage is facing today.
Questions to ponder regarding how you are dealing with the current transitions in your marriage:
1. Are you committed? This means keeping promises, being dedicated, loyal, and nurturing the relationship before anything else.
2. Have you built a sense of security, confidence, and dependability? Show your spouse that they are not alone, that you believe in them, and that they can rely on you.